We could walk through Winter’s pale skin Love still bleeds new Colored lights still shine, my hands still smell of you Guess this is it Till summer rolls around Funny how a season curses you without making a sound Now you’re changing In a thousand new ways I know this evolution must be scary, darling Let the movement warm you Mother always tried to warn you love is strange But it’s something we all do Keeps us spiraling so beautifully Like the leaves inside your pool I would love to be with you But your pedals never reappear Zuzu We could pack up all we’ve got Dispel of all this freshman shit Trace the chambers of my heart Eat the moon after I lasso it I would love to be with you But to promise that’s a wicked thing to do Now my old kite in Weak gusts won’t glide In the year we went to separate colleges Randy sold the hammock Leonard Cohen and Ziggy Stardust died But now I finally understand The things I felt made me a failure Just make me a man And though we’ve exchanged Our capes for ties I’ll still lend a helping hand I would love to be with you But to promise that’s a wicked thing to do We’ve studied love for centuries To get degrees in letting go This college town has brought me to my knees And yearning for New Mexico I love you dear I’m sorry I tried my best I’m sorry Sorry I let you down I guess my sickness got the best of me guess my darkness got the best of me but holding grudges ain’t your style And I’ll be damned if I’ll be known as the one who let something great go so I get stuck beneath the undertow and roll my rock without a smile Blake wake me up when we’re both men I’ve felt this way since I was ten – just like I failed my driver’s test again – waiting months on the same card Now you drown dishes in the sink prone to smile but never speak about those lines or silver streaks just count the leaves falling in the yard just like the heroes from my sky they’ll come to bury me in time Things won’t ever be the same Am I crazy if I like that? Hope the spiraling sadness in you fades But don’t know if I could take that My heart won’t leave Tucumcari Am I crazy if I like that? But there’ll be nothing left to see And I don’t know if I could take that We would walk through Winter’s pale skin

I have grown to hate everything I once was and to fall in love with everything I see Now the pain that I once faked is the one I can’t escape, it’s trapped inside a frame, a picture, a memory – Until it moves like seasons change and we’re cold like winter air I know I could thrive by the fire if I wasn’t too thoughtless to live or too foolish to care Sometimes I think about how I would run around With a cape and a pistol, masquerading as a man My mirror splits between a father and a son and I don’t know which one I should choose And now all my friends have got new faces, they ask me: “Where’ve you been?” and “What the Hell happened to you?” Where have all your feelings gone? There must be somewhere you belong But you’ll never love anyone like the way you love yourself And you never love yourself Now I’ll find myself a woman who can turn my tame heart wild With the hips of a dancer, the lips of a cancer, the jaw of a boxer, the eyes of a child Her jewelry’s made of bones and silver and her voice it sounds like God’s She could grant your every wish, my friend, if you could only decide what it is you might want But where have all your feelings gone? There must be somewhere you belong But you’ll never love anymore if you can’t love yourself And you never love yourself Now it’s all about the look, the sex, the drugs, the bands let’s all hold hands act like we’re too cool to care but I’ll never understand this place, this age; an eternal outcast in my own skin and to win I’ll have to bet everything but I can’t buy a damn thing in this town – love is cheap, talk is cheap but coke’s too expensive. And I can’t find a damn in this town – not even from my mother, we all just torch and rape our souls and then label one another: Pacifist, Atheist, carve it on your crucifix, you’ll never grow out of this. You say that you’re proud of this but you’ll never grow out of this, with all of those things that you saved till you’re older but then they turn the lights and tell you it’s over because all you need is just a little more money, and all you need is just one more friend, all you want is a little more time, but sometimes the old times are all that you get. But I remember summers on the beach, signing laughing drinking – waiting for the storm, Yes I still think about these memories till I want everyone I love to come lie in my arms Like a light to keep me warm. Like a light to keep me warm. I used to read upon the porch, everyday that’s what I did I used to care about my brother’s innocence And sometimes I still feel the anger I felt when I was seventeen Now all I loved is broken – I was never any good with fragile things But now your shoes don’t fit no more, You’ve sung until your throat’s bled sore, And you find out your Heart’s a whore and you have to shut her down Or she’ll run all over town. Now where have all your feelings gone? There must be somewhere you belong But you’ll never love anyone like the way you always did Back when you’re a kid.

When you were younger who said you weren't beautiful? you cut your hair to fit in with the boys They pushed and shoved you and made me feel insecure - a waste of space that makes too much noise The world's filled with vampires who'll suck you dry and leave the dust take all your innocence fill you with lust Now your cutting scars in both of your wrists and making holes in my heart as I long to say what sets you apart Your dad he spits his hateful words your mom gives no love at all if only they could see what I saw My heart is a poet my love for you I'll write it down maybe someday I'll say it out loud What a weary existence to keep all these feelings inside just let me in your heart like I let you in mine But the path to freedom is as crooked as my teeth and as dark as your eyes when we're through the world won't see through our disguise We both know my past is far behind and your future so bright what I wouldn't give for you to let me inside And we'd live happily ever after you and I could start a home if only I could get there faster or if you want we could take it slow My heart is a record spins round and round most every night melt down the vinyl and form what you like Ripped up my poems and my book I've nothing left to hide just say what's in my heart and just speak my mind Well I know that people change you loved who I was, not who I am but my love hasn't faltered my love it still stands But if you love me through all of my sins through all of my scars just know that I'll love you inside and out and my love for you it shines just like the sun - it rises and sets so I understand if you have your doubts Just know that I love you know that it's true know that someone somewhere understands you And wherever you are or if you've found someone new I hope he knows you're beautiful the way that I do.

I grew up in Florida where hearts freeze with the cold Met a young boy with brown eyes, dark and deep like his soul With skin like the snow and hair like the sand, I guess you could say that's where our future began So we'd play in the orchards, use the tree-limbs as swords And he'd play the guitar, mend my soul with his chords In those sad melodies and the notes that he'd play He'd so simply relate what my heart had to say, So I'd lose myself in music and find myself in the stars To beat of the train and the far distance cars And he'd gaze at the moon he said it's where he saw God: The one who made us this way - so beautifully flawed One day I received a letter, it said to come out find him I found him outstretched on the mound of the diamond So sad and so torn, He cried to the Lord, Don't make me stay in this sad town no more. Carolina - don't make me wait You know I can't stay In this old town no more I've made my mind up, you know I am headed your way And my heart won't stray From the one that it loves. So we packed up and left with bright lights in our eyes And we hopped on the train under orange Autumn skies Our homes that weren't homes, were just now corpses with flies, We had no regrets and we said no goodbyes. We made new identities - new faces; new names And we made some new friends with new voices and new things to say Left behind all our worries, our shame With our music and moon here to keep us both sane But when we arrived in the city, we were both caught off guard By a world filled with lights but no soul and no God Where the drugs clout your mind - all the sex and TV Fill up your brain until the pain's all you see. So I took to writing Gospel, sang songs for the church You traded big dreams for small pills and questioned your worth, All those melodies and notes that you've long since forgot, While I search for a home 'cause it's all that I want. Carolina - don't make me pray You know I can't stay In my own head no more. I've made my mind up, you know I am running away, My heart has strayed From the one that it loves. Now I hear you have a daughter, and you named her June For the month of conception and you wrote her a tune, Now if I'm ever lost again like I was, I hope it's inside your song O brother, where have you gone? Put down your gun You don't have to run And Sweet June, sweet June, don't let your daddy make, All of the same mistakes He made when we were young. And dear God Why have you made us this way? No matter how far I stray No home can be found. But I will return, to repent for my mistakes And me and my Love will make The most beautiful sound.

I remember sodas on the fourth, sweltering summers of the south you lean and kiss me on the porch - tomato flavor of your mouth a cactus plant, a yellow bug parked by a newly ripened yard Lukas cuts grass while coffee brews scent fills the room where we played cards and if I watch my grandma's dogs sometimes she'll let me take the car out and I'll drive over to your house speed on the highway with the top down wanted to tell you that I love you, outside that goddamn Circle K, and since you drove me home, the sky looks more like Heaven everyday some nights I'll visit you at work - a diner just outside of town where you serve coffee to the dreamers and they all drink it till their teeth brown share a bottle beneath the bleachers, babe that we can drink until our teeth brown I used to think that love was some kind of pure and natural force but now I'm scarred by its remains and I ain't got the strength no more at night I’m longing for your touch my mind tells me I’ve had enough my friends all say I think too much maybe they’re right and I’m insane but just the sound of falling rain is still you calling out my name I’m tired of making fumbling plays to see if you truly feel the same just tell me if you like me now and look me in the eye we can still share a dance or two, I’ll still hug you good-bye so summer passes just like this chaos stemmed from just one kiss held love like lightning in my fist meant all the world to me I guess now I wrote till pages black like a NyQuil induced Kerouac and sit and daydream about my crush - "who knew that love could hurt so much?" sit and daydream about my crush - "who knew that numb could hurt so much?" you were just eighteen, passenger side reading Virgin Suicides the moonlight flickers off your eyes now I can't get you off my mind "it's raining dear! let's run inside" make you a soda suicide the sunrise mirrors off your eyes now I can't get you off my mind...

Pack a suitcase for the west coast You need some sunshine and to wet your hair Ever since you got Chuck Taylor All-Stars you walk everywhere Meet some old friends They’re at the bar They’re taking pictures and getting stoned, They tell the same stories they’ve told since they were four years old Now no matter who I see My pupils always grow But no amounts of passion can help the time or ink flow So now you drink just to keep from getting bored You spent ten-thousand years in the orchards And ever since you have left you never turned back this way Until today when you’re feeling so down And all of your old friends They think you’ve sold out Now the moon’s high and glowing You are too and it’s freezing And everybody grows up, but that don’t make it easy Play Elliott Smith in the car, take in landscapes of white So with your red hunting cap, you will carry the world With those bags on your eyes I hope that you’re comfortable With your lime scented candles, eat pavement. bend birches. go home. Now I ain’t no hero I still live in the past I get pissed at the TV and when life moves too fast With a head filled with sex dreams and sports teams, I still move a lot So I’ll spread my curses through all fifty states, I will eat my own soul and depart With thin yellow paper I’ll tear through my heart, And I will dissolve on the tip of my own tongue And I’ll dream of birds and things like I did when I was young The words “I love you”, a blue guitar, a battered book, an unnamed star Are the gifts that I gave you for Christmas that I hope that you kept She shot my kites down, in the back seat Touching hands, misplace our parts Our broken hearts’ sounds only echo when the windows are down Now won’t you please help your mom, can’t you see she’s been crying And if we fail now, it’s not from lack of trying Because I’m trying real hard and I won’t use my youth as a crutch And I try not to worry so much About how and with whom I will die Because with your warm arms around me, where the sea meets the sky I could go now I guess and that would be fine And if it meant I could see you again, I think I’d go tonight ​ So now you dream just to keep from feeling bored, You spent ten-thousand souls in the orchards And ever since you have left you never turned back this way Until today when you’re feeling so small And all of your old friends They don’t know you at all And I hope when you are grown dear Yes I hope when you are grown That you learn how to let some things go And fade into nothing, Which is how it belongs And I’ll dream of birds and things like I did when I was young

Part I (Mother): Of all those gifts your mother brings Like golden eyes or silver strings And the mandolin that she plays around your bed She’ll wrap green leave around your ears To bless all that her baby hears Till she cuts off the sound completely like she cuts the crust off your bread And she looks like a queen and she sounds like a Siren She’ll bury your demons when she lets the light in She’ll teach you how to handle your money and carry yourself Part II (Father): And your father he’ll teach you how to laugh They said he looked like Christ but he sounded like a Buddha When he spoke of peace and truth and the things you don’t understand But he taught you how to tie your shoes and how to dribble How to stand up and walk and, ever since you were little, He taught you how to love so what more could you ask from the man His teachings a Bible that don’t weigh an ounce Says: “We all have words that we mispronounce, So do not ever feel better than anyone else.” Part III (My Lover and Myself): But now there’s nothing they can show you that you can’t learn yourself That’s why every time you wet the razor, you feel like someone else So mother can you hear me? Because I had that dream again where You fell into the ocean and you lost all of your hair And I’m the only one who drank those waves until I found your body there, At least I didn’t drown again this time – Time it traces circles, carves the freckles in your cheeks You’ve yet to find the secret to how your river speaks You’re a victim of your limits dear like your worries or your age You teach a monkey to paint and the first thing he’ll paint is his cage But now I live alone which is to hardly live And all of the love that I find is the type that caves in And your career’s a joke that you don’t care to mention It seems your contentment has killed your invention And now your only muse is a bottle of gin But you find a nice girl and she squints when she smiles She smokes cigarettes by the pack like they’re going out of style And she paints her eyes ten shades of blue With skins so pale you can see straight through But you never look that hard because you’re afraid of what’s inside But you love her and you need her So you’re willing to pretend That she doesn’t spend all your money on drugs, crash the car, come home drunk, drink your orange-juice and fuck all your friends Now the change is so apparent, oh forgive me now I’m dying Before we turn into our parents let’s be us for one last time So Lauren can you hear me? Because I had that dream again where You locked yourself inside a room and cut through all your skin and hair And we all must feel lost sometimes, even Christ himself got scared I hear But the least that you can always do is try – just try So Time it traces circles, carves the wrinkles in your cheeks You’ll never find the secret to how your river speaks (like you said you would) And now I’m tired of playing the victim, my dear, and I’ve grown old in acting my age You teach a monkey to paint and the first thing he’ll paint are the bars of his cage... Now you think about your decisions and all those wasted years That you drove around in circles doing nothing and you drowned away in tears Give me a penny for your thoughts dear, a quarter of your fears that I can carry Teach a man to fly and he’d stay right here

[instrumental] poems by Bruno Enciso, Jacob Ferraro-Martin, Veronica Lempicki, and Jaclyn Tipton